where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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