No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
