and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
