i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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