i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
