five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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