HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
