If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
