therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
