i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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