you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
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