is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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