I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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