We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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