You can't motorboat a personality
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
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ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
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My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
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