He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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