sorry about calling you the devil all night.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
