Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
