Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
