You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
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