Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
