hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My hand turned me down
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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