Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
