Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
