Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
