I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
