i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
