she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
