Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
