ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Randomize
