just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
