the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
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