had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
