so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
