i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
