I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
