Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
