i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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