Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
