that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
