I'm really into asian looking animals
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
