Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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