Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
