i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
