This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
