Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
