Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize