You can't motorboat a personality
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
