ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
