I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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