I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
