I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
