I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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