She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
