he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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