I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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