And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
