mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't notice because vodka
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize