He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
