I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
