bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
