Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Randomize
