my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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