It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
