I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Randomize
