I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Randomize
