Someone shit on the floor
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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