I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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