You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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